Flirting and dating on-line is no different to doing it off-line, just a lot safer and easier if you do it right. Most of the 'rules' are common sense. Your mother was most probably right - you just don't have to admit it.
Creating The Right Impression
Make sure your profile is not misleading. Give the wrong idea and you'll be sure to get the wrong response or no responses at all.
Think About What You Say
So, you've spotted a singleton that you want to contact online. But what do you say? It's important to try and make the right impression when first making contact online, as you may only get once chance to get it right!
• Be Clear - Words and phrases can be interpreted in many different ways, so when drafting your message try and be as clear as you can to avoid any misinterpretation.
• Be Concise - Don't attempt to write a long winded message that needs its own chapters, a few well written sentences is enough to make an initial introduction.
• Ask Questions - A couple of questions before signing off gives the recipient more of an incentive to respond to you, and also gives them something to talk to you about in their response.
• Keep Momentum - Once initial contact has been made, its vital to keep momentum going, keep asking questions and find out things you have in common to keep conversation flowing.
• Be Friendly and Polite - Cracking bad jokes, excessive swearing, or voicing strong and possibly controversial opinions may not get you off onto the right foot.
• Be Positive - There is nothing worse than a singleton droning on about negative experiences, be it in relationships or other aspects of their life. You may risk sounding negative, depressive, or negative which isn't appealing.
The greatest thing about being online is the safety and privacy it affords you. Just be careful! When you start corresponding with people don't give out your personal details too early. Build up a sense of mutual trust first. Keep your last name, telephone number, email address, place of work and exact family details private until you are ready to share them.
Don't be Pushed
Watch out for people pressing you for your personal details too early and too often. Also, hang back on meeting off-line until you are ready.
keep an eye out for changes in content and style in the messages you receive. If Mr Loving Kindness suddenly starts sounding like Carlos the Jackal on testosterone it may be an idea to back off or move on.
Dating Scams what can I do to protect myself?
• only use a reputable online dating or chat service and follow the basic safety tips for online dating
• be sceptical and ask yourself simple questions like, 'why am I the only person who can help them but I have just met them?'
• test your date - ask them lots of questions, try to phone them or post them something or possibly suggest meeting them. If all attempts fail, you are probably dealing with a scammer.
This is the big one! You mailed each other, chatted and are ready to take the plunge and meet for real. Whilst taking your brother from the commandos with you may ensure your safety, chances are your date may get nervous, or prefer him to you!
Make your first few meetings in public places, ideally at lunchtime if you can. If you have a mobile phone takes it with you and possibly take a pre-arranged call. Tell someone where you are going and try to have plans for after your date - don't be caught out with 'so what are you doing after dinner?'. Have your answer ready. Don't give out your home or work address and don't give in to pressure.
One of the best places to meet someone for the first time is in a city or town centre coffee shop. Tell the person you are meeting at the outset that you only have half an hour to spare, and then if things are not going well or you feel uncomfortable with them, you can make your excuses without causing any offence. If you are both getting on fine, then you can just extend the 'half hour' for as long as you wish.
And guys, all this applies to you too. The chances of being taken for a ride by women may be less, but don't discount it.
Most importantly, relax, have fun and keep things safe.
Friday, May 24, 2013