She broke up with her boyfriend. Now, your friends are egging you to go and ask her out. It would not hurt, they say. But you think otherwise. Of course it would. So you sulk and wait and decide that you will not ask her out. Or would you?
It is so confusing to have to decide which is which. Should the right decision be to go ahead and ask or just wait it out?
In the words of a popular shoe brand, it really would not hurt at all if you simply – just do it. Okay, so it would hurt. A little. But, who ever got lethally hurt from a broken heart? So what if you will be rejected? It may hurt yes, but the experience will definitely make you stronger.
But how would you know if you will be rejected, unless you ask? What if she says yes. Would not that be a surprise? And you would not have known this if you haven’t asked at all. So should you? Of course you should.
Let us face it. It is not easy to be able to handle rejection. Most men who have become successful are usually those who do not take personally any rejection that comes to them. This life principle is actually very simple. Sometimes, it is one’s need for drama that decision-making becomes a little bit complex.
If the girl you asked out says no. Accept it and move on. There are a lot of fish in the sea, as the saying goes. This is a whole lot better than not knowing at all.
Society has put a lot of emphasis on the ego. The ego is something that, when paid too much attention to, could be a bit distracting and self-defeating. Rejection only matters if you think it matters.
Asking someone out could be extremely nerve racking. It is definitely not easy. But asking someone out only becomes extremely scary if you only have the sights set on yourself and if you are so afraid to fail.
Failure is not easy. Rejection is not easy. But the most glorious part in this process is your uncanny ability to be able to move on despite the rejection.
Relax. Usually, the reason you get nervous is that you may have very little options or that you are so in love with this woman that no one else is just as worthy to be with you than her. So any chances of you being rejected will definitely spell a little bit as being close to end of the world. Again, it could not be emphasized more clearly, relax.
The solution for this problem is simple, go out and gather more options. One telephone number puts too much pressure on you to get a girl’s yes. Go ask another girl, that you like mind you, and not just someone who is handing out her number for everyone to see.
So if the first number does not go well, move on and settle to dial that other number. Do not sweat the small stuff. Time is more precious than wasting it on regret and all the coulda’s, wouda’s and shouda’s.
There is another solution to not let a potential rejection take the best out of you. Why don’t you go and ask someone out with the expectation of being rejected. By this method, it saves you from being attached to the result. By this way, you are actually letting go of any potential outcome. You become therefore more free, open and accepting of whatever life brings you. Eventually, you are putting less pressure upon yourself to be accepted, and you are playing by life’s ear and is leading a very stress-free life.
All in all, to be really honest, asking someone out on a date is not a bed of roses. It is putting yourself down the line. You are literally offering yourself up to the relationship gods for slaughter. But wait. You are also opening yourself to a lot of new experiences that could make you a better person.
Saturday, May 25, 2013